i cant think of a chappell roan pun

i halloweened for the first time in years

hiiiii friends! im BACK!

did you miss me? i hope so.

the weather is getting colder, and it’s about to be dark at like 4pm so that means it’s PEAK CRAFTIN TIME.

ive been off a few months. yes i have been working on my manuscript, (NO MOM IT’S NOT DONE YET), and doing lots of fun crafts i cant wait to share with yall.

FIRST OFF A TIMELY BELATED CRAFT.

I HALLOWEENED THIS YEAR

i have a complicated relationship with halloween. i love halloween in theory. i love seeing everyone’s costumes on social media. i like carving pumpkins, but i haven’t had a porch or place to display them since ive been an adult. and i worked in a haunted house for six years , which sucked some of the halloween spirit out of me. and ive always had a hard time coming up with a costume that i wanted to spend the money on, or felt i had the skillset to create.

BUT THIS YEAR WAS DIFFERENT. i had both halloween party plans, and trick or treating plans. so i had to HALLOWEEN properly, and needed two costumes for said events.

WHEN MOM SAYS WE HAVE CHAPPELL ROAN AT HOME

a few well meaning, delusional people have said i look like chappell roan. which is so so flattering, because I am a decade older and way fatter than her, and i really think it’s just the similarity in our hair, but HEY IT IS VERY FLATTERING SO I’LL TAKE IT.

i love chappell roan. i first found her back in feb when i found her song casual on tiktok. one of my biggest regrets is i had tickets to see her at the rave in on october 3rd 2023 (a concert in which i invited SEVERAL people to attend with me, who responded “idk who that is”) and then I HAD A TERRIBLE MIGRAINE AND COULDNT GO, and it’s probably the only time i would have been able to see her for really cheap in a smaller venue.

BUT I DIGRESS. the halloween party attendees and hosts were almost all queer, rollerderby-ers, so I thought a CHAPPELL ROAN costume would land.

i scrolled google images for inspo, and then bald daddy’s amazon to see what i could buy to recreate some of chappell’s LEWKS.

i landed on this PINK PONY ESQUE LEWK and ordered my supplies.

in the pink pony clerb, we all fam

WHAT YOULL NEED

• pink tights

• a pink body suit (i ordered three so i could have options. and SPOILER ALERT this ended up being IMPORTANT, but if you learn from my mistakes and know your sizing you wont have to do this)

• pink sequin stars (two packs)

• e6000 glue

• pink gloves (this is the brand i used, but upon this writing they are out of pink, so IDK FIND SOME YOURSELF, i cant do everything for you)

• pink sequin fringe

• pink cowboy hat (you can actually buy the one chappell has for like $170 or something if you do your homework, you can also buy her exact bodysuit, but whats the fun in that)

• pink makeup

• lashes

• cowboy boots (i already had these. ive managed to score two great pairs of vintage cowboy boots at a resale shop and an estate sale, both BRAND NEW, GEN-U-INE leather for under $50 a pair)

HOW TO:

• load your inspo pics on your phone and lay out your body suit

• lay out the sequin stars in a V shape on the jumpsuit. now these stars are ALLEGEDLY iron on, but i couldn’t get that to work, and at one point melted a sequin to my iron. so skip that and just use the e6000 glue to glue them on.

NOW THIS IS WHERE I FUCKED UP

• you’ll need to glue the fringe onto the body suit a la chappell. I glued them on and forgot that the body suit will stretch when I put it on my body, and THE FRINGE HAD NO ELASTICITY AND THUS WILL NOT STRECH to conform to my body the way the bodysuit will.

WHICH RESULTED IN THE JUMPSUIT ID SPENT THE PREVIOUS NIGHT LOVINGLY CRAFTING RIPPING.

AFTER THE CARNAGE

BEFORE THE CARNAGE

luckily, i was putting my costume on hours before the party. probably two early. but i knew my makeup would take a while, and i had to paint my boyfriend’s face for his mimiyku pokemon costume. so when my costume was DESTROYED, i was able to scramble.

WHAT YOULL NEED WHEN YOU FUCK UP YOUR FIRST COSTUME

• the other body suit that fit, but had thinner material so you were gonna return

• your extra stars and fringe

• superglue

• another set of helping hands

HOW TO MAKE A SECOND EMERGENCY COSTUME IN A PANIC

• put your extra bodysuit on over your tights

• try and use the e6000 glue to glue the stars on your costume while you are wearing it, using the bathroom mirror to try and align them properly.

• realize the e6000 glue requires at least 24 hours to cure properly and the stars keep poppin off.

• grab the super glue that sticks after 10-30 seconds and start gluin it to your body.

• feel the heat of the chemicals from the superglue on your skin as it seeps through your body suit.

• realize you are definitely gluing the costume to your skin and, most alarmingly, your nipples, because the bra you chose was (while very supportive) made of thin lace, so the glue has def gone through to your the delicate skin of the top half of your swimsuit places.

• keep gluing your hands to the fringe on the top part

• NOW when you get to gluing the long fringe pieces on the bottom, get a second pair of hands to help you.

• TIP: my boyfriend had this technique where he would like, stroke the fringe while attaching it, and gluing in section. but keeping his finger running over the fringe and MOVING the whole time so it doesnt have time to get stuck anywhere.

THEN ITS TIME TO DO YOUR MAKEUP with lots of pink, and throw your hat on and go.

NOW I FORGOT TO ACTUALLY WEAR THESE BUT I MADE THEM

PINK PONY GLOVES

• these pink gloves

• more of your sequin stars

• the same e6000 glue

• more of your pink fringe

HOW TO:

• lay out your gloves

• glue three stars going up to the topside of the gloves

• then once that is dry, glue the sequin fringe along the seam.

TA DA NOW YOU HAVE GLOVES

just dont forget to wear them to the halloween party like i did. i feel like they really would have taken my costume to the next level.

AND BING BANG BOOM NOW YOU ARE BASICALLY A TEMU VERSION OF CHAPPELL ROAN

three sheets to the wind here post party. i also took pics of the back of the costume, but if you want to see those, which heavily feature my ass, youll have to venmo me.

and if you’ve made all the mistakes i did, when you go to pee youll realize you have glued your tights to the bodysuit and have trapped yourself in a pink prison. hopefully you arent too drunk and stoned to strategically rip yourself free wihout ruining your costume. i recommend ripping yourself free as delicately as you can. but if you dont? fuck it. its dark and everyone else is already tits deep in party mode.

OKAY IM BACK. expect more crafts soon. next up im gonne tell yall about possibly the dumbest craft ive ever done.

LOVE YOU THANKS FOR READING.

PS i just realized when this comes out, chappell will be tonights musical guest on SNL, SO IT WORKS OUT THAT I GOT THIS OUT TWO DAYS LATE, RIGHT??? RIGHT????