Stool Samples

furniture or poop craft? OPEN TO FIND OUT

My new apartment has a kitchen island with a little spot for a pair of bar stools. I knew I didn’t want to spend a lot of money on them, but I wanted a certain LEWK. a simple pair of barstools would NOT DO!

i thought about gluing tiny babies to stools, but everyone knows tiny babies are bedroom decor.

picture credit: idk i found it on google then forgot MY BAD

i was inspired by the above milwaukee landmark, ANNNNND had a bottle of these bigass sequins that i had no idea what to do with.

TURNS OUT, giant sequins in various shapes are called SPANGLES.

the spangles in my traditional white ppl popcorn/vomit bowl, highly rec this so you can sift through them and grab the ones you want

SUPPLIES:

• Spangles! you don’t have to get these exact ones, any that strike your fancy.

• Stools! i ordered these ones in white, but you could just as easily use any you have around the house, or from a thrift store, or fb marketplace for cheaper, which is what i would have done if i was a more patient person BUT IM NOT

• Glue! like, i said, you can use either e6000 or hot glue, or whatever you think will best adhere spangles to chair. but i can only speak to these particular glues!!

• Mod podge! (personally i feel like every house SHOULD already have this for when inspiration strikes, or crafting emergencies but if you don’t have some grab some)

INSTRUCTIONS

i took this bottle of spangles, and dumped it into a large mixing bowl. when i first started out, i was using E6000 glue, which is an excellent glue for bedazzling stuff, but its allegedly toxic, and so you should use it with a respirator, which i dont have. i try and use it with the windows open, but it does stink up my living room. after i ran out i switched to hot glue, which worked JUUUUST fine. i did burn my fingers every couple minutes, but its that kinda shit that reminds us were aliiiiiiiive, baby!!

so what you do is you select a bangle, and then put a little blob, then stick it on there real good, and repeat. i tried to vary the shapes and colors so it doesnt look too repetitive.

i found it best to sit on the floor and glue when i was watching a program, but this wasnt super comfortable and my feet frequently feel asleep. but like beauty, crafting is PAIN.

you wanna place them to try and cover as much blank space as you can.

after you’ve covered all of the stool (don’t cover any of the butt part, spangles probably arent comfortable to sit on and idk how this all would wear with daily butt sits) you’re gonna want to take a spare piece of CARDBOARD (i prefer a torn down amazon box. reduce! reuse! recycle!) and then set the stoll atop it to protect whatever surface is below. for me it was my kitchen countertop lololol.

then you’re gonna take your MOD PODGE and a bigass brush. i forgot to take pictures of this part so youre just going to have to trust me on this. but you cover ALL of the glued on spangles in a VERY VERY THICK layer of the mod podge. like, so thick you its hard to see the spangles below the layer of goo. it’ll all dry down clear, but IMO (AND LETS NOT FORGET IM THE EXPERT HERE) it helps the spangles stay secure and less at risk for popping off and more suitable for daily use.

anyway once it all dries you have something like this!!

remember, like tits and eyebrows they are sisters not twins.

SO SHINY

QUESTION:

ok i know its been a while, and it seems like this substack will NEVER be consistent, but like, i like to think thats all part of its CHARM? but LAST TIME a million years ago, i included my thoughts on the intro to LOLITA. i had a bunch of stuff written about the first couple chapters, but then removed it because i was like “its been too long! no one cares anymore about your late lolita thoughts!!”

but like, do you care? if so, i can keep doing it. LMK

OK BYE LOVE YOU!